Our true identity

San Francisco Bay

“To say that I am made in the image of God is to say that Love is the reason for my existence, for God is love. Love is my true identity. Selflessness is my true self. Love is my true character. Love is my name.“ ~Thomas Merton

In addition to the joyful mountain top experiences I’ve been so very grateful to be a part of this summer, I’ve also experienced some mental anguish related to conflict and discord, both on a personal level and on a broader societal level. Without going into specifics and in hope that others may benefit from my mental and spiritual wrestlings, I thought I would share some thoughts around this topic of discord—mainly, if humans desire peace, love, and joy at their deepest level, what can we do, how can (or should) we respond when discord prevails?

I think it’s safe to say that I came into this world with a high degree of sensitivity. By this I mean that I feel the bumps fairly intensely when it comes to interpersonal relations. As a child, I had my radar up all the time. When people are hurtful toward one another, I feel it, regardless of whether it’s directed at me or other people. The first few decades of my life were fairly fraught with anxiety and/or depression. As I grew in my faith and came to understand that it points to truly good news regarding ultimate outcomes, I have hope and genuine peace that undergirds most of my days. 

But the questions still linger in my mind, “How do I respond when people are unkind, insensitive, passive aggressive, ignore me/cut me out of their lives? When I see this type of behavior being embraced, not only in my own personal relations but also by large swaths of America, I wonder what can be done?” 

I think nearly everyone recognizes that the fabric of American (perhaps worldwide) society is fraying and wearing thin. People have retreated to their corners, to their groups/tribes and have become not only withdrawn but have come to view their perceived enemies as what seems to me to be “less than human” and definitely not worthy of being viewed as someone created in the image of God, precious individuals. I see this played out up close and at large.

When I say this, I am not diminishing real challenges—thus the wrestling in my own mind. I have experienced much pain within my own sphere where people who once embraced me, now avoid me. I pose the question to myself. How am I doing these very things? How am I sowing hurt in others’ lives? When there are real conflicts it feels comforting to withdraw, to lick my wounds, to cast blame, to connect only with those who share my viewpoints.

Yet, I have also observed that this comfort is only temporary. The deeply embedded thorns continue to fester—the pain multiplies, spreads to innocent bystanders, and never disappears, whether it’s war within a family, country, or between countries.

As I mentioned my faith, I will come at it from this perspective, though I think what I have concluded is a universal principle. And this is it: Love. Period. Yes, even and especially our enemies. I believe Love lived out in our actions heals. Period. 

In reference to the above quote by Christian Mystic, Thomas Merton, we are created in the image of God. The Bible says that God IS Love. Period. No additions nor subtractions. If one’s theology, doctrine, or practice does not line up with Love, something is amiss.

I’m still grappling with how exactly to Love those who don’t love me (or my loved ones). There’s no skirting around Jesus’ words: “But I say, to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you..”

What does Love look like in the most challenging of relationships? 

“Love suffers long and is kind; 

Love does not envy; 

Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

Does not behave rudely, 

Does not seek its own,

Is not provoked,

Thinks no evil;

Does not rejoice in iniquity,

But rejoices in the Truth;

Bears all things,

Hopes all things, 

Believes all things,

Endures all things.

Love never fails. 

~1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

I fall short of many of these aspects of loving. But with all my wrestling (which often includes trying to justify unloving (hateful?) thoughts and actions towards others), this is what I am always brought back to. It is a lifelong process seeking to live this way, but there is no other way that leads to genuine Life—to beauty, joy, goodness, hope, peace, etc. Each day of our short lives we are given the choice—will we align ourselves with Love?  I think humanity is moving in this direction and will ultimately converge in Love, however many eons it may take. I know it sounds crazy, but so is the beauty of this world. It is up to me, to us, to enter in to our true identity, Love.